A Birthday Smorgaysboard
by Iori-chan-sempai
Summary: [Birthday fic written for my friend. Various slash pairings] In which Ryoma is a Pontafreak, Tezuka is pitiable, and middle schoolers are gay.


"Oh my," said the young man, holding out his hands to feel the slight drip of rain. "I think we'd better pack up for now. It looks like it's going to storm." His companion looked up to the sky curiously, noting the dark clouds that had overtaken the previously beautiful sky.

"I guess you're right, Oishi..." he agreed before flinching, "Ouch!" he shut his eye, and Oishi looked at him in concern. "Something got in my eye... it was probably just rain..." Eiji grumbled.

The other boy pulled him closer, "Better check to be sure, you know," Eiji nodded sheepishly as Oishi stared into his eyes. They were caught in that. Just, staring before leaning closer towards each other.

"Ahem." came Tezuka's meaningful cough. It was his way of restraining himself from shouting for them to take 200 laps for exposing him to... that. Oishi and Eiji quickly spread apart (Damn right, Tezuka thought triumphantly) and started to gather the equipment, occasionally glancing at each other and blushing. Tezuka tried not to grimace, he wouldn't mind as much if they just kept if off the courts, honestly, "Practice is over, so, enjoy the break. See you all tomorrow," he adjourned and left the fenced-in area as quickly as he had ended practice.

"Buchou seems a little..." Kawamura started, gazing at the back of their captain as he escaped.

"High-strung?" Momo finished, before receiving nods from most of the team. Inui flipped through his notebook, looking for a possible answer as to why.

Ryoma shrugged, pulling his cap down further, to shield his eyes from the rain, "Whatever has Tezuka-buchou wound up is Tezuka-buchou's business," he said idly before exiting as well.

The rest of the team stared after him. He had a point. But screw Tezuka's "personal privacy." If it was bothering Mr. I-Have-Only-One-Expression-K-Thx, then people would definitely pay good money to know it. And that money... could be used to fund the tennis club, so it was all for the greater good! Or something.

Ryoma sighed as the rare drops turned into a soft trickle, and pushed his favorite button on the local soda machine. After a few moments of the can still standing there on it's shelf, he looked to the text where it smugly informed him that it was out of order. With a sigh, he clicked the return money switch. Once. Twice. Three more times for good measure. He growled and kicked the machine. It deserved it, honestly! Stealing his money and daring to deprive him of his Ponta!

The trickle suddenly became a steady downpour, as if in response to his violence. Ryoma simply looked up at sky and sighed, before stuffing his hands into his pockets and trudging down the roads to his house, a sorry sight.

"Ry-Ryoma-kun?" That voice. He almost didn't want to turn around... but he'd bear it. If only for the fact she'd get more annoying if he ignored her, and that would be unbearable without his glorious rush of caffeine after a hard day at practice.

"Mm?" He didn't stop or anything, only glanced over his shoulder barely to see the girl with the braids.

Sakuno frowned and looked at the ground while she was walking, "Well, uh-uhm. What I.. What I mean to say is..."

Ryoma's lips twitched, as he grew more annoyed with her stalling and stuttering. "Yes?" he asked, eager to just find out her purpose, solve it and be back on the way to somewhere with suitable Ponta-substitutes.

Sakuno jolted at the verbal prod, but instead it of bringing out her words, it made her more nervous. "You see, I, erm... I was just, uh...--" she trailed off and was interrupted.

"Just spit it out, girl! Can't you see that Ryoma's getting fed up with you?" It was another voice that Ryoma definitely didn't want to hear. He didn't know which one was worse, only that he was just about getting a headache.

The girl looked up, shocked, before growing quiet, and dropping her head forward, "Aah, I'm sorry, Ryoma-kun." She raised her head, "I just, was wondering if you forgot your umbrella... You can use mine if you want. I don't have far to walk."

Ryoma frowned, well, that wasn't a horrible thing at all, but... "He's already wet," the other of two evils stated, a cynical tone to his voice, "You aren't. I think it'd be better if you kept your umbrella," Your bright pink umbrella, Ryoma elaborated mentally.

"I.. guess you're right," she admitted. "But--"

"If you're worried about Ryoma getting pneumonia or something, don't. He can use my umbrella, we're walking in the same direction anyway!" Kevin told her, before smiling and grabbing a hold of Ryoma's arm, "Come on, Ryoma!"

Sakuno stared after the two boys in dismay.

"Walking in the same direction...?" Ryoma asked, almost not wanting to know his intentions.

"Yea!" It worried Ryoma that he refused to elaborate. Just as he turned around to say something, he felt something very cold against his forehead. As he brought his hand to the object that Kevin was holding, the blond unceremoniously dropped it into his hands, "The machine was out of order, right?"

Sweet, sweet Ponta!

He opened the can immediately and guzzled it, relishing in the sugar flowing through his veins and re-energizing his mood. "Thanks," Ryoma sighed, the normal resistance to admitting his gratitude to people was offline due to the sudden influx of Ponta. When he opened his eyes, he looked at Kevin square in the face, "About this same direction?" he tried again.

Kevin smiled darkly, "Let's just say... it's a place with lots and lots of Ponta, Ryoma."

Ryoma shrugged, deciding why not as he followed the blond. Mountains of Ponta... such a heavenly place could hardly be evil.

Right?

Damnit. Tezuka knew he'd forgotten something as he saw a pair of boys under an umbrella, one horrendously tall (almost as tall? Hell, maybe even taller than himself) and the other an average height, wearing Hyoutei uniforms. One of the doubles team, he noted, the one with the Skud serve and all that. And--Oh, Christ! Were they... were they holding hands? Tezuka shuddered from more than the cold as he walked past, head ducked and trying to not to catch their attention.

"I can hold it myself, Choutarou..." the shorter one said, flustered, but Oohtori just gave him that smile.

"Your arm would get tired if you did, Shishido-san!" he informed him. "Just tell me if you're getting wet at all," the smile never left his face, and Shishido grumbled out a whatever.

Tezuka was just glad they didn't notice him, and he continued on his way, pondering the straightness (or rather, lack of therefore) of everyone he knew. Maybe there was a memo that he missed? He never did like junk mail... He was musing about whether he should actually open his mail before throwing it away when he passed by a restaurant. He recognized the only two customers that were sitting outside, though under the shelter of the extended roofing, both in uniforms from St. Rudolph.

He couldn't say he was startled, but he would say he was just a bit taken aback. Just enough to forget who he was and ask, eyebrow raised high, "...Are you two on a date?"

Yuuta sputtered, "NO!" at about the same time that Mizuki smugly answered in the positive. "Mi-Mizuki-san!" Yuuta let out in surprise before he gave the boy a scathing look.

Mizuki just wound a few strands of hair around his finger, "Well then, Yuuta-kun, answer me this: What are we doing? This isn't just some fast food joint you take your friends to. It's a nice, renowned restaurant that you, might I remind you, are picking up the bill for."

"I-it's not like it's my fault! You won't eat anywhere else. And you told me you left your wallet!" Yuuta said, red in the face and glaring at Mizuki with all he had. Count on him to make a scene... He was just happy that none of the patrons were outside to witness it.

"Nfu, so you're saying I've coerced you into a date?" he was smiling with deep-seated amusement, eager to hear Yuuta's answer.

"That's exactly what I'm saying! Er..." Mizuki's smile grew as Yuuta realized that he screwed himself over. "Shit."

"If me talking you into a date is exactly what you're saying, that implies this is, in fact, a date. Since that's what I talked you into, right?" Yuuta remained silent, and Mizuki took that as an affirmative. He smiled and turned back to Tezuka, "Yes. We are on a date."

"For the love of God, please don't mention this to him," Yuuta said, apparently giving up the fight completely and instead turning to Tezuka as a confidant. The bespeckled individual simply nodded before just silently trodding off back into the rain. Okay, twice is a coincidence, but three times? He was just going to walk home now and remain entirely oblivious to everything anyone was doing. If he saw someone he recognized, Tezuka was going to shut his eyes and tune them out and pretend he didn't know them, or that he was mistaken.

"Sorry for dragging you all the way out here with me, Shinji," The brunet and blue haired teens that Tezuka knew-- not exactly well, but enough-- came out of the nearby CD shop. "I wasn't really thinking how far this was from your house."

Damnit, and now Tezuka was listening in. With a startling horror, he realized that his tuning out skills weren't just in need of work, but completely non-existent. Oh, the blow to the Tezuka pride at that epiphany-- but it was no matter! He could work on them later. For now, he would walk until he could hear them no more.

"I don't mind," Shinji started softly, "Though I did forget my umbrella at school and I'm not exactly fond of rain when I'm not playing tennis. I mean, a good shower is good for the plants and stuff, but pouring rain like this is just horrible irritating, and it is a long walk to my house from here..."

Akira grabbed him by the shoulder to pause his mutterings, "Er, Shinji, it's okay. I can lend you my umbrella."

Shinji shook his head again, "No, I'm fine," and then lower, "The chance of Akira getting sick would be a lot higher than me since he gets sick pretty easily, right? Not to mention that I would have to return the umbrella later on, and I'm not the best person when it comes to remembering things..."

The brunet sighed at his friend, "Look, if that's the problem, then I can walk you home."

"That won't do either." Shinji said with dissatisfaction. "My house is such a far walk from here, and in a completely different direction from here than Akira's house is. He would have to catch a ride on the bus anyway, and even then it would take much longer. Akira would go through lots of trouble and waste lots of his time and not be able to listen to his new CD until later on at night, and then he wouldn't be able to get enough sleep, ultimately leading to..."

He couldn't be gladder when Shinji's voice faded away, if for a reason different that before. Just being around that guy gave him a headache, but it was somehow a much nicer scene than the ones before. Maybe everyone around him wasn't completely...

"Er, Tachibana-san, they're a little wet, but uh, these are for you." 'These' happened to be a big bouquet of red roses, which was all he could make out of the figure opposite Fudomine's captain besides the voice-- which was definitely familiar and definitely male. When the boy handed the gift over and that bright hair was exposed, he did a double take. Was... was that Sengoku?

And just when he'd stopped doubting the world.

"Tachibana-san," Sengoku, who was usually so calm and relaxed was completely flustered as he spoke. "I just wanted to let you know that I really admire you!" He let out with difficulty. "And... if.. if you were willing, I was wondering if we could. I don't knw. Go.. out somewhere to lunch. More than once?" Tezuka was frozen in place as he thought, no, begged: No. Just. Say no.

But he didn't hear no, and Tachibana seemed equally embarrassed at the proposal. "W-well... Actually..."

He could almost feel the bile, God knows he could taste it. Tezuka walked as fast as he could without breaking out into a run, but when he heard the loud, pleasantly surprised, "LUCKY!" he couldn't help but shudder.

And while Tezuka held closer to himself, desperately telling himself the chill was from the rain and nothing else, he ran right into someone. "S-Sorry," he started, then grimaced as he caught sight of who it was.

"Oh! Tezuka-san!" it was Yukimura, followed by his vice-captain as always. "You know, I've always wanted to play against you but I supposed that we should wait for the nationals," He was in subtle thought before he smiled, "We could always play each other in a different game, though."

"Such as...?" It was more courtesy than interest that forced the words past his lips.

"Well, me and Sanada were about to start up a game of strip poker... but I suppose a third player would only make things more interesting!" he said, entirely too cheerfully to realize what he was actually talking about, Tezuka was sure.

Tezuka patted himself on the back for not running away immediately, and instead politely declining his offer by citing a bogus excuse. He even walked away like a normal person would, secretly hoping that wasn't a wicked tone he'd heard with Yukimura's words of "Well, that's too bad."

He... he was going to take the bus. That ought to be nice. Peaceful. Safe. Detached. He sat on the bench waiting for the bus, which would luckily get here in just a few minutes. That's all he had to brave.

"Jeez, Akaya. You'd think by now you'd learn to be a little more careful," Tezuka glanced over to the voice and caught two Rikkaidai regulars. He hadn't noticed when he took seat, but the bus stop was in front of a sporting ground. It seemed that despite the rain, they had decided to continue their practice, though the game was over by now.

Yanagi knelt at Kirihara's feet, shaking his head as he applied a bandage to the younger tennis player's scraped knee. "Che, don't treat me like a little kid, Yanagi-sempai," Kirihara scoffed as Yanagi sat at his side and grabbed his hand to expose is bleeding elbow. "It's not like you're my moth--" As if spitefully, Yanagi applied the alcoholic wipe to the wound, causing Kirihara to sharply suck in a breath, "Ow ow ow ow..." Tezuka shifted his attention to the inside of his eyelids while waiting for the freedom that the bus would (or at least, had better) entail.

"I think I can treat you like a child if you're acting like one."

"Well, if you're going to pretend you're my mother, at least be gentle!"

"It's your fault in the first place. You're so focused on the match that you completely forget to think about yourself. You won't be of any use to anyone if you sprain something."

"I know, I know..."

"And I especially told you to be careful in the rain..."

"I know."

The screeching of wheels promptly informed Tezuka that the bus was waiting for him, and he tried not to smile as he entered. The relief was almost too much for his stoic personality to handle. He sat down and gleefully prepared to enjoy this sacred peace, when he swore he'd heard it.

An over dramatic sigh.

"Kabaji, remind me not to bring Jiro with me the next time I ride a bus."

"Usu."

Oh no.

Tezuka didn't want to. He refused. It was all a figment of his imagination.

Minutes passed and he was compelled to glance over his shoulder and settle his doubt once and for all.

Atobe was there. Kabaji sat in the seat behind him, idly staring forward while Jiro leaned on, snored into and probably drooled upon Atobe's shoulder. The oddly domestic scene was quite a surprise for Tezuka to witness, but in retrospect, he should have broke his observation here.

Atobe sighed again, before looking down at the boy rudely sleeping on his shoulder. He couldn't be mad however, and simply reached out to tuck a stray strand of Jiro's hair behind his ear. When the blond murmured in his sleep and adjusted his position, a small fond smile graced Atobe's lips.

Tezuka practically choked on air at the mere thought of Atobe smiling without malice. Unfortunately, the noise made Atobe start and look in his direction. He gaped before valiantly trying to recover, as his usual smirk fitted his face and chuckled, obviously fakely, "Did you get lost looking upon my brilliance, Tezuka?"

Tezuka didn't reply, he just stared with the same disbelief that ensured he had seen what shouldn't have been witnessed. At that look, Atobe visibly paled and accepted defeat.

He and Tezuka rode in an awkward silence.

Once his stop came, Tezuka just, quietly left, not saying a word or even looking in Atobe's direction. He simply felt kind of disturbed and very unlucky after today's events. But whatever. He surveyed the area he was in before making his way towards a house that wasn't his own, but familiar nonetheless.

As he walked along the streets, there was another couple-- wait. Wait. Wait.

Was... was that Ann and Saeki?

As in.. a woman and a man?

Tezuka was almost happy, but he decided to postpone his celebration of heterosexuality until after he was sure the world had returned to normal.

"Ann, I think I've been in love with you since the day we first met!" Saeki proclaimed, his normal character being mauled by the jaws of love and definitely not the writer who didn't remember a thing about him.

Ann tried to smile as she broke the news, "That makes me happy but... I'm already involved with someone."

Saeki sulked at the taken status of his love, crumpling to the nearby bench, "Who? Who is it?" he asked dramatically.

Ann flushed before quietly replying, "Tomoko."

Saeki looked up, "Tomoko, huh...? That's an awfully feminine name for a..." The moment he stopped in speech, Tezuka accelerated in motion. So much for that. He should have figured the world wasn't done screwing with his mind and perception of others.

He breathed a sigh of relief when the house was in sight, and calmly knocked on the door.

"Oh, Tezuka. I was wondering why you were so late," Fuji Shuusuke smiled and pulled open the door. "I told you it was going to rain today," he laughed, before handing Tezuka a towel.

"That doesn't mean you can skip practice," he said, drying himself off as much as he could after being soaked for half an hour.

Fuji shook his head, "Just go use the shower. My family won't be home until late, so I was wondering if we could try this special, ah, stamina training I've heard about."

Fuji was smiling oddly and even coughed into his hand to stifle a dark chuckle, but Tezuka foolishly disregarded all this creepiness. It was Fuji after all. He shrugged and entered the bathroom.

After a quick shower to expel the chill in his bones, he realized that he had nothing dry to wear. His bag was as soaked as he was. With a sigh and towel around his waist, Tezuka opened the door, "Could I borrow some--"

"Hmm?" Fuji tilted his head from his position on the bed. He was in a bathrobe. The room was dark except for the light of scented candles. W-was that slow music in the background?

Tezuka started to lose his nerve, "Er, well... you know, Fuji. I'm kind of skeptical. With this really improve our stamina?"

Fuji laughed and smiled again, "Oh, I'm sure it will, Tezuka."

It was then that Tezuka knew fear.


End file.
